Desire

Many have never seen the animal that I had to kill. But I will tell you, it was beautiful, with tiny translucent feathers every color that the eye knows, and some colors unknown to bodily vision. And it was effervescent to the soul, like champagne which tickles the tongue and warms the senses. Its wings, when spread, were large organic mirrors which reflected the spirit of this planet, that the seer may understand what glorious paradise we live in. Entranced by its eyes; night skies constantly flickering with meteors, when the animal blinked it was like the universe breathing in, perpetually giving and taking away a vision of perfection. And when I had to blink, the moment lasted for an eternity, for I could not bear to be away from the sight of such a magestic beast. It’s collosal paws were the unquestionable authority of the gods.

And that animal knocked me to the ground with it’s cataclysmic tail, because I did not deserve to be in its presence. That such beauty would destroy me turned me red, radiating with anger. And my anger began to turn to apathy, as I became a monster in the presence of such a wild angel. The chill winds of it’s flapping wings turned me to ice as it hovered above me. As the spectrum of my heaven quickly faded to gray, I ripped out my cold dry heart and launched it at the creature. I ripped off my right arm and fashioned it into a sharp point, like an icicle, and pitched it into the animal’s chest. And the squeals that it released from the pith of its diaphragm were the cries of a primordial evil that was birthed painfully into the ether before it could infiltrate the elements. Pouring out of its wounds was a thick black tar, and in it scattered were the corpses of humans that it had conquered, their faces adorned with the smiles of fools.

You must understand that I could have stared into its eyes for one thousand years, spun like a hapless fly into it’s inescapable web. And I would have let such beauty devour me. Had I deserved it, it would have carried my little dying body, painted with the expression of a idiot, to blessed universes on the other side of Desire. But it wanted me to kill it. Because I had to understand that such a thing, though ancient, is not immortal. And I have given my heart and the hand that paints in exchange for this atrocity I’ve committed.

And now I understand how it cripples a human, this wanting of forever, this needing of nothing at all.